Jealousy is a very tricky emotion, but the bad thing about envy is that it’s so deceptive, tricky, and hidden. It acts in the way that it can work on you for years, and you don’t even realize what’s going on. It is very important to deal with it.
Here we will talk about:
- What is Jealousy?
- Cause of Jealousy
- Ways to deal with Jealousy
What is Jealousy?
Here we are going to talk about the root cause of jealousy how can be cure jealousy there are some powerful techniques to cure the root cause of the jealousy and deal with jealousy
So to be more specific what we are talking about we are taking some examples,
First, we can talk about relationship jealousy. This means that you are jealous of someone with whom your partner is potentially cheating on you or liking somebody else or flirting with somebody else.
You can be suspicious of the status somebody has or some types of materialistic things someone has in your area or in your business.
You could be insecure about the position others have or the status they have. or maybe about the personality characteristic they have like he is very handsome, or she is gorgeous you want to be like that.
If someone is very confident you want to be like that or someone is very funny, you want to be like that, so there can be many possible things you could be jealous of.
And the thing with jealousy is that it can masquerade other emotions. It might masquerade us anger, might masquerade us hatred, frustration, loneliness, sadness. It can also masquerade criticism direct at that person.
So, if you are criticizing another person, It could be because of jealousy, and the same goes for the diminishing others, but you will never admit to yourself that you are diminishing that person because you are jealous of him.
Cause of Jealousy
If taking a look at what jealousy means, jealousy is an overwhelming emotion because it’s so sneaky in the way it usually affects. The people who are affected by it typically don’t know how self-destructive this emotion is.
If you go into it deeper, you will find the core reason behind it is misconceptions about yourself, about your personality. The person you think you are becomes your identity. It will build a self-image about yourself.
If you think you are good, bad, smart, funny, confident or weak, this all are self-beliefs, which are developed by you. And you always try to protect your self-image.
For example, you have built a self-image about yourself that you are a very charming person.
This is your self-belief, and when you see your partner is flirting with someone other,
now in this condition, you are not getting the feedback you want. These things are going against your self-image.
You think you are charming, but your partner’s actions show someone is better than you. This makes your defensive.
That’s what jealousy does. It always makes you defensive. There can be many other ways this defence mechanism can be triggered.
The whole thing you need to understand about ego is, the ego is all about self-deception. The ego is very self-deceptive.
This is why people try to impress others, or they try to appear in a certain way.
They never try to be themselves and authentic because they believe that if they being authentic, people are not going to love them or accept them. More causes of jealousy
Ways to deal with Jealousy
Self-awareness is the way to deal with jealousy. Whenever you see a person whom you get jealous of, give it a sec and think about it, why I am feeling insecure, is it that person the external world is responsible for it or the elements inside me are causing this.
Take a look inside and be very observant and honest, look into your heart, and that’s the key once you convince yourself to look into your heart then you got the foundation for working on your internal problems like jealousy.
Until you do not admit it, it’s your internal problem and only can be solved by looking inside, you never going to solve it.
Jealousy is destructive to your life. It is going to prevent you from self-actualization, it’s going to prevent you from creating an extraordinary life,
It’s will prevent you from getting career success that you want for you, and going to hold you back from being the best of you as a human being.
Being selfish is a narrow thought
It’s will make you small and selfish and will keep you from living a beautiful and passionate life.
You are not going to accomplish great things in your life with it. You are not going to feel good inside if you are always defensive.
Now the choice is yours who you want to be, want to be selfish or noble?
You need to convince yourself that yes, I am jealous of someone if I don’t know how to fix it, but still, I am going to put my attention on it because if I don’t, it’s going to stay with me for my whole life.
The ultimate solution to deal with jealousy is starting noticing it. Start to notice every single instance when you are jealous. You can also start writing it down so to improve your awareness.
Acknowledging that jealousy is a narrow-minded behavior
Your vision for yourself as a human being should be to become a Nobel and self-actualized human being.
You should want to be a big person, not a little one. Being a little person is very pathetic in life. I hope you want to be a big person even if you don’t know how to be a big person.
You should ask yourself what your life principals and life values are. What are the standards you have set for yourself in your life because it is essential?
Kind of stuff like honesty, integrity, excellence, or justice whatever they are, but you should have this in your life.
If I tell you about my values, I value independence, I appreciate beauty, and I value purpose and passion. Ask yourself, do I value insecurities or being jealous in my life?
And I hope you will not list jealousy in your top life principal you will find that jealousy is against your values now you can see that you are a noble person and jealousy is a narrow-minded behaviour. So acknowledge it yourself and deal with jealousy
Understanding that happiness comes from inside
Many times when we are jealous of someone because of his car, house, beauty, or any of the external things people can have, we got a thought process which says if I have that car, that thing I would be happier.
But, the real fact is that you are not going to be happy after having any of the things you want in your life.
Happiness is a state of mind which is only cultivated inside, no materialistic thing or anything can give you permanent satisfaction which you want in your life.
These things will give you happiness for little time until you got used to it, and when you got used to it, it becomes ordinary for you, and now the magic happens, now you want something more significant than that, and the desires go on.
So we have to understand that happiness comes from inside and you have to be happy from the inside for truly to be happy
Relation of success with jealousy
Whenever you get jealous of someone, always remember you are letting yourself down. Whenever you say something negative about someone, out of jealousy to feel better internally, it gets you down.
Instead of thinking about how to become like him or her, your focus goes to that little happiness you have by saying something negative about them.
Hence, whenever you say something good about others or appreciate others, your mind starts working in the direction, how can you be like that?
What are the qualities this person has, how he achieved it, what I need to do to achieve this for me, and this little appreciation becomes the basics of your success.
So whenever you get jealous of someone, be conscious about it, and start appreciating him more and more for his achievement.
This will always give you a feeling of nobleness inside you or will make you hungrier to improve yourself, not jealous.
Whenever someone does something good in their lives always try to appreciate them and if this emotion of jealousy comes into your mind start affirming like
“I feel good when someone do better in his life”
“I feel good when someone gets success in his life”
This type of affirmation will bring your back to the track again if you go off the track.
Always remember never try to compete with others whenever you try to compete with others, this feeling of being better than others always cultivate the emotion of jealousy inside your soul.
Whenever you compare yourself with others, you start thinking negatively about them. Or start feeling low about yourself.
“Someone is better than you” this negative state of mind stops you from being the best version of yourself.
Always try to compete with yourself. Always focus on how I can improve myself. This mind-set never lets you get jealous of someone.
“Blowing out someone others candle doesn’t make yours shine any bright”
The only way to deal with insecurity is self-belief and never compare your self with others. Always remember every human being is different. Everybody has different qualities and different weakness.
Always appreciate yourself for the things you have done and always thanks to god for whatever you have today.
The main reason behind it is lack of self-esteem. As i said you need to believe in yourself and appreciate yourself for whatever you did,
and never ever compare yourself with others.
Everybody has haters even mother Teresa had. You can’t run from this negative person you have to face them and the only way to deal with them is never take their comments in your head and avoid them and always reply them with your positivity.
Also read: Tips for Alpha Communication Skills