Dealing with people is one of the most aspects of social skills.
It is also a skill that can be learned. In this century it has become more important for us to understand it.
There may have been many incidents where you could fail to deal with people, because of anger, fear, egotism, which probably lead to an argument, or end in a relationship.
You may have faced an awkward situation where you were not able communicate with other person and couldn’t make them your friends.
Just stick with me, we are going to discuss on every aspect of i,t in this blog.
What’s in it for me?
1. Is dealing with people that difficult?
2. How to deal with people?
i. Never criticize others.
ii. Give them a sincere appreciation.
iii. Give people what they want.
iv. Never argue with others.
v. Become genuinely interested in other people.
vi. Remember people’s names.
Is dealing with people that difficult?
If have to answer it in word than it’s ‘NO’, then why it is that some people are good in social skills and some are not?
Because they know what other persons want from them.
Yes, you heard it right every person expects something forms others if we gave it to them sincerely, very little effort we need to deal with them.
Wondering what’s that? We will understand that in further sections.
Before that, we need to understand how does human reacts.
Every action or response of humans is connected to their emotions. Human is a creature of emotions. They very rarely make decisions based on logic.(Read more about: How to use emotion to Program your )
So what we u understood is that, “Whenever you are dealing people remember that we are not dealing with creatures of logic, rather with creatures of emotions with the motivation of pride and ego“.
People act on the basis of emotion is the entire problem of humanity.
If you understood this, solving all problems related to humans becomes too easy.
How to deal with people?
1. Never criticize others.
• Every person believes that they are never wrong. Think of how do you feel when your teacher criticizes you that too in front of the whole class.
I know he is going to be the most hated person for you.
If your employer criticizes you for your mistakes in front of your colleagues, that employer is going to be on the top of your enemy list.
There is nothing wrong to find a person’s mistake and making him correct. But where we go wrong is criticizing them for their mistakes.
• Don’t make people realize that they had done a mistake.
2. Give them a sincere appreciation.
• Let’s list down the things that people wish for which makes their life happier.
6. A feeling of importance.
• ‘Feeling of importance‘ is like their basic need.
Even if a person has millions of dollars, a big mansion, this materialistic thing does not going fulfilled his satisfaction. Read more about: Why do every human had a feeling of importance.
• He wants someone to be in a relationship with him who gives attention to him, cares for him.
• Deep down in their heart, they need a feeling of importance.
Which can be fulfilled by sincere appreciation.
If inculcate the nature of giving others in return you will receive lot more than you what you gave.
Appreciate other for even very little success.
• But remember it should be a ” sincere” appreciation, if it’s not from the bottom of your heart it would be a flattery which can make the person totally against you.
3. Give people what they want.
If I went for a fishing, what do you think what I am gonna use to lure fish, worms or mango (my favourite fruit)?
It’s obvious I am gonna hook worms to lure fish. What if I replace it with mangoes that they don’t want?
Not even a single fish is going to attract it.
• The same thing happens in the case of humans, give people what they want. After understanding this human basic nature it becomes so easy for me to win new friends.
• Just become a good listener. Communication is about 75% listening and 25% talk.
Also Read: How to True Confidence?
• No one is interested in your problems, no one wants to know what you like and dislike.
• People want to share their own problem, they just need someone who can sincerely listen to their thoughts.
4. Never argue with others.
The best way to deal with argument is to avoid the argument.
The argument arises when two people contradict each other opinions.
We can simply avoid the argument by giving importance to the other person’s opinion.
• If you lose an argument you just lose, if you win an argument you made other people feel inferior, you didn’t value his opinion.
5. Become genuinely interested in other people.
• People are not interested in you, not me but they are interested in themselves every morning, afternoon, and night.
There could be rarely anyone whom they love wholeheartedly.
• A study in the telephone company about the words that has been most used and common in all telephonic conversation.
And the one word that came to be at the top of the list is, yes you guessed it right “I” “I” “I”…. It was used 3900 times in telephone conversation.
• Dale Carnegie ( author of book How to win friends and influence people) once had a conversation with Howard Thurston, is a popular magicians, who made more than 2 million dollars with his stage performance. ( Read about: Benefits of reading Books)
Carnegie asks him what is his secret success. Howard told many magicians look at their audience and says to themselves “Here I have the bunch of mad people, I am gonna make them fool, alright”.
But Howard’s way was different, when he is on stage he says “I am grateful for the people who had come here to watch my show.
They had mad my living affordable. I will give best as I can”
6. Remember people’s names.
• What’s in the name? If don’t remember the names of the new people whom you have met recently and don’t remember their name you are in big trouble.
• People are interested in their names than any other people’s names.
• Andrew Carnegie was once asked about his secret success. He told his ability to remember people’s names.
He was the owner of the Steel Company, he used to remember 50k names of people in his organization.
Every person on the hierarchy who run his company, right from the peon to the heads of the department.
To remember the name of the new person whom you will met you can use their names more than twice to remember it or after having conversation write the name of the person with their distinguishing characteristics.
So, whenever next time you meet them you will have their names in your mind.
And keep this is mind, pronouncing the name incorrectly make them feel you are careless about them.
With this, I end my words here, if have to sum up in one line then would be..
“ GET THE OTHER PERSON’S POINT IF VIEW AND SEE THINGS FROM THAT PERSON’S ANGLE AS WELL AS FROM YOUR OWN”
“GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT YOU EXPECT FROM THEM TO GIVE YOU”.
• You are not dealing with the creature of logic but the creature of emotions.
• How to deal with people? How to make new friends?
1. Never criticize others
2. Give them a sincere appreciation
3. Never argue with others.
4. Become genuinely interested in other people.
5. Remember people’s names.
6. Never argue with others.
1. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
2. How to Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes
3. Improve Your Social Skills by Daniel Wendler
Omkar, is a Digital Marketer | Self-taught Programmer