Self-confidence & Self-esteem are very much interconnected to each other but both are different things. Self-esteem is how we perceive & how we feel about ourselves; how much we love ourselves & how we treat ourselves.
And this belief builds up in our life from the experiences & situations we have been through & think that’s their ultimate destiny.
Self-confidence is how we feel about our skills and abilities to deal with situations. For most people lack of self-confidence is the result of having low self-esteem. So first we need to find the root cause of low self-esteem & then we know what to fix & how to deal with it.
Table of contents:
- Reasons of why You lack Self-confidence?
- 1. Lack of Self-Acceptance
- 2. Lack of Purpose in Your Life
- 3. Lack of Self-Belief
- 4. Lack of Personal Integrity
- 5. Wrong Approach to Deal with Situations
- 6. You Avoid Social Interaction
- 7. People Pleaser
- 8. You Give-up too soon
- 9. You Compare Your Progress
Reasons of why You lack Self-confidence?:
The reason for the lack of self-confidence or lack of self-esteem can be many like:
- Being bullied in your past
- You faced rejection
- Failed to meet the expectations of your parents
- You’ve faced some bad incidents or situations
- You’re different than the others
& there could me numerous amount of incidents or reasons from that you’ve dealt with or you still dealing it currently, which leads you towards a lack of self-confidence.
1. Lack of self-acceptance:
You always think that you’re never good enough to achieve anything, you don’t deserve good things. But don’t beat yourself up.
You got to understand one simple thing, you can change any situation. If you think that your current version is not capable enough to achieve great things,
like- you don’t deserve that promotion, you’re not capable to win, you may be suffering from a lack of self-confidence or you are average at your work, all you need is to work on your shortcomings. That’s it.
Don’t hate yourself for being at the bad position of your life, accept the fact that you are behind at your life, found the reason that why you’re behind & then work on it.
2. Lack of Purpose in Your Life:
Everyone has a purpose to fulfill in this world, you’re not worthless, it just you haven’t found your purpose yet & when you found it then most of the trifling incident don’t even matter like the feeling of lack of self-confidence.
3. Lack of Self-Belief:
You don’t have self–confidence or self–belief in the fact that what you want or what you desire can get actually fulfill in reality. You don’t believe in yourself that you can achieve whatever you want.
First, you need to figure out what you want & what are your needs. Then you must practice to express yourself that this is what you want & this is your need to the world. If you don’t express it, you will not be able to fulfill that desire you have.
At the end you’re only considered as the helping hand for everyone & I’m not saying you shouldn’t help others.
What I’m trying to say is that – You matter in this world & you need to express it to the world & achieve everything you want.
4. Lack of Personal Integrity:
If one doesn’t possess their own personal integrity then that instantly shows that one dealing with a lack of self-confidence. Each & everyone is unique but what makes them unique is their own principles, moral values, belief system. This is the reason for the difference of opinion, every person perceives a situation according to their values.
And when you found your personal integrity, then you won’t get affected by other people’s opinions. Because you know yourself now. You’ll start to live on your own terms & that’s what will make you unique.
5. Wrong Approach to Deal with Situations:
The thing is you don’t get what you want always. In fact most of the time we have to face rejections.
And most of the people take it as a defeat & accepted in their mind that it’s not meant for me, other people are better & capable than me. The way we cope up with every tough situation that makes a massive impact on our self-esteem & self-confidence.
For example– A guy appears for the interview & gets instantly rejection on his face. Then that guy takes that rejection in two ways, a) in a positive way, b) in a negative way
a) In a positive way–
The guy will understand that we don’t always succeed & take it as a learning lesson & focus on what went wrong. If you have this approach then you don’t have any self-esteem issue.
b) In a negative way-
That guy will take that rejection as the ultimate failure of his life & he will then behave in a passive way & to avoid the feeling of rejection he will avoid giving interviews in big companies again. Because he now thinks that he’s not worthy enough or capable enough.
I give an example of rejection because it’s very common but the same thing applies to every situation & you have two options either learn from tough situations & take control of your life or let that situation affect you for your whole life, the choice is yours.
6. You avoid Social Interaction:
You’ll avoid social interactions at all costs because you think you have flaws, you lack self-confidence & nobody will like you. But you know one thing “Nobody’s perfect“ so go out & make some friends, you’ll definitely found someone who’ll love to be your friend.
7. People Pleaser:
You thought by pleasing others you’re being generous or being kind. But being kind on the price of losing your own self-respect is foolish. And by the way, kindness is just an excuse, the truth is you think they’ll leave you if you don’t behave in a certain way.
If you can’t be the real you & if have to pretend in a certain way to be with them. Then you should leave them first.
Start to build a habit to express your opinions socially & say no when you need to & take a stand for your point of view, soon you’ll overcome your people-pleasing habit. And,
“Never be sorry for being just you“.
8. You Give-up too soon:
You give up even before you started to do any task. Just like you build habits, the same way you build a habit of giving up.
Because maybe you’ve lost once in your past experience & after that you make it a conclusion of your life that you’re not a winner. You’ve heard this many times that successful people failed more no. of times than an average person. Why? Because they know that sooner or later they’ll make it happen.
They’re no different than us, they just know how to keep going despite being rejected, failure & if they can why can’t you?
9. You Compare Your Progress:
Every individual is different than the other, each has their own strengths & weakness & each have their own journey of their life.
So stop comparing, start focusing on your strengths & improve it even more.
We all think that all external situations are the reasons that we change, but you have the control over it.
It’s all about how you perceive things out. The real reason for you having low self-esteem or lack of self-confidence, is how you deal with every situation, how you perceive that incident. But how you can change this scenario? Well, the answer is You!
If you’ve been rejected from that job, then work on yourself more & make yourself capable. If you have face some bad situation in your past then it’s not your fault, move on. Don’t let that incident take away your today’s happiness.
Everybody can give you many suggestions, but in the end how you wanted to perceive every situation & if you are willing to move on or not or learn from that bad incident or rejection is totally dependent on you.
Self-confidence is that someone who knows their true self, who knows their strength & weakness & never feel embarrassed or ashamed of just being themselves.
If you’re not confident enough then the success you deserve you won’t get it, you can’t be able to express yourself & your skills. So to get everything in your life, you must possess confidence.
Confidence is inter-related to self-esteem. And the reasons for having low self-esteem can be many like- you didn’t get the attention from whom you expected(parents, elder figure, teachers, friends), you had a bad past, rejections, you couldn’t fulfill your parent’s expectations(like good grades), etc.
1. Accept your bad past experiences & move on.
2. Tell yourself you deserve good things in life.
3. Surround yourself with positive people who don’t judge you.
4. Accept your weakness & focus on your strengths.
5. Don’t feel ashamed of being your true self.
Self-confidence is that we have trust in our skills and abilities to deal with situations & aware of our flaws too.
Whereas, Over-confidence is when anyone behave like we know better than others & who thinks that they are always right.
Self-confidence & Self-esteem are very much interconnected to each other but both are different things.
Self-esteem is how we perceive & how we feel about ourselves overall; how much we love ourselves, how we treat ourselves.
And Self-confidence is that we have trust in our skills and abilities to deal with situations & aware of our flaws too.