13 things mentally strong people don’t do summary will teach you the habits that can make you a mentally strong person. We often do things, when we are facing a mental pain that harms our mental strength instead of helping us fight the pain. So, here are a few things that mentally strong people don’t do.
How to be mentally strong?
Handling complex and difficult situations in life requires you to be mentally strong because it’s hard dealing with emotional pain of losing something like your job. So the question is how to be mentally tough in life? The answer is found in the book shares book 13 things mentally strong people don’t do by Amy Morin. This article is inspired from this book and shares the big ideas from this book. This is one of the best Amy Morin books. We will take an example that you lost your job and you can be mentally strong here.
13 Things mentally strong people don’t do are:
- Mentally Strong People Don’t
- Feel sorry for themselves
- Lose their power to others
- Be afraid of change
- Focus on holding on to things they can’t control
- Try to please others
- Fear risks
- Dwell on yesterday
- Make same mistakes again
- Resent other’s success
- Give up when failing
- Be afraid to spend time alone
- Feel the world owes them
- Expect immediate results
- Frequently Asked Questions
13 Things mentally strong people don’t do summary
Mentally Strong people don’t Feel sorry for themselves
When you feel sorry or pity for yourself, you start comparing your problems with others problems and start to think that your problem is the worst. You start to think how it might get even worse and you will never overcome it.
This happens because you focus your energy on thinking how big the problem is instead of focusing on what caused it and how you can resolve it. If you want to be mentally strong focus on the solution and not the problem and stop feeling sorry.
Example – If you lost your job, you keep thinking this is the worst problem but the thing is you should focus how you can handle this problem.
Mentally Strong people don’t Losing their power to others
You lose you power to others when you let what they think of you affect you. If they criticize, you always try to defend yourself because you feel offended. Now what happens is that they have the power to control your emotions, how well or bad your day is decided by them, how you behave is decided by them and how to work towards your goal is impacted by it. Mentally strong people have the full control of their power.
How gain back your power? Whenever possible take their criticism as feedback it will help you improve your life. Re frame your self-talk into something positive. That’s how to be strong minded.
Example – When someone criticize you for losing the job take it as a feedback and figure out what’s lacking in your work.
Mentally Strong people are not afraid of change
Whenever a change happens in our life we tend to resist it and fight it nut we never try to let it happen or deal with it. You try to convince yourself and other how the habit you have right now is not bad. You start to worry about this change.
But have you ever thought that running away from this change will act as a barrier to your growth. Mentally strong people know that the sooner they accept and adapt to the change the better it is.
How to change?
Accept it Accept the change, set goals regarding the change you want to happen, make an action plan, take small and actionable steps at a time. Being afraid can make you stick to your comfort zone and you might never change.
Enjoying 13 things mentally strong people don’t do? Also read how to accept change in detail.
But remember if you are late in accepting the change and acting upon it you will regret it later. When you are not afraid life is happier.
Example – Continuing our previous example, find the new job you want to do or learn that skill that you lacked. Set goals around it and develop a plan and take the actions.
Mentally Strong people don’t Focus on holding on to things they can’t control
Wasting energy and time on things you know will never change have never helped anyone. It just makes your mentality weak as this habit tends to occupy your mind and control it. You have to let go these thing by accepting it. Though it might be difficult but have gratitude and focus on thing you still have.
How let go thing we can’t change? Take three piece of paper; write down what you can’t control, what you can control and what you still have. Then tear the paper with things you can’t control and start working on what you can control also let your gratitude motivate you.
Example – You can control your boss’ decision to fire you but you can change you skill set and find a new job.
Mentally Strong people don’t Try to please others
You need approval from other to feel accepted by them and then finally you can be proud of yourself. But the world doesn’t work like this so you pleasing other for your approval will make you less respectful and finally mentally weak. Your responsibility is to tell your truth to people and it’s their responsibility how they react, not yours.
Signs you are pleasing people
Example – You don’t have to tell your boss “Oh I know it’s not my mistake that we lost the client but I am really sorry. Please give me my job back.” Instead you should tell the truth that the client doesn’t anymore like our product and we need to improve it.
Mentally Strong people don’t Fear risks
People want to start a business but fear the failure. Always fearing the failing part of a journey to success. You are struggling to make that decision of your life. You dream about doing the adventurous things but your fear stops you.
People avoid risks because they don’t understand the fear and you might not have the knowledge of doing something. Being a risk taker doesn’t mean you do something you have no knowledge about. First learn how to do it then face your fear and do it. Take calculated risks.
Example – By losing the job you might realize that you can do business that you always wanted to do. Don’t be afraid and learn how to do it. Take calculated risks.
Mentally Strong people don’t Dwell on yesterday
You made a mistake in the past and now all you wish is you shouldn’t have done it. People regret doing the mistake instead of moving on. They dwell on yesterday because of the fear of moving forward. Now if you keep think of the past it distracts you from today. You will not be able to take the right decisions and actions. If you want to be mentally strong then stop dwelling on yesterday.
How to not dwell on yesterday?
Have a set time to think of the past events, this will limit you dwelling.
Distract yourself from the past.
Focus on your future goals.
Example – Don’t think about the fact that you lost the job think about now what you are going to do about it.
Mentally Strong people don’t Make the same mistakes again
You try to follow the same old plan to fight obstacles that has never worked in past and it will also never work in future. You think it’s very hard to give up the bad habits that I have. If you repeat the same mistakes you will never accomplish your goals and will never be able to solve the problems you have.
Analyse what went wrong, why it happened and plan accordingly. See yourself as your own advisor and give the best advice and action plan. This makes you strong and that’s how to be fearless.
Example – Find what mistake you made at you job that you got fired and learn from this mistake and change your action plan.
Mentally Strong people don’t Resent other’s success
You often compare your life with others regarding your health, money, cars etc. This feeling of resentment is because of your insecurities. It’s hard to accept the fact when others get successful and you didn’t. Do you think a mentally strong person will ever resent other’s success?
To get rid of this feeling, start working on yourself and fight your insecurities.
Change you attitude towards yourself and tell yourself that you as good as others.
Don’t compare yourself to others, if you want to compare then compare you with yourself.
Write down your strengths and also accept others accomplishments.
Example – Don’t feel bad that you lost your job and the other guy got a promotion. Accept this fact and believe that in your next job you will be better than who you are today.
They don’t Give up when failing
When you fail you feel like it’s all over and you never try to do it again. You feel that now people only see you as a failure. Then to prove them wrong instead of getting up and trying you start to make excuses. You give up because you are programmed like this.
Understand that this is all part of your journey. Read all the failure stories. Accept it, learn from your failure and overcome it. Mentally strong people don’t give up when they fail.
Example – Instead of seeing this lost job as a failure, see it as an opportunity to get a better job.
They are not afraid to spend time alone
Maybe you consider it boring to spend time with yourself and writing dear diary and meditating is a waste of time. Spend some time for yourself and think about your goals and pay 100% attention to yourself every day from a certain time. Mentally strong people are not afraid to spend time alone.
Example – Forget you lost your job for a certain time daily and think about you feeling related to other things.
They don’t Feel the world owes them
If you ever felt that the world is not fair to you then you feel the world owes you something. But the truth is it doesn’t. You think you deserve that award because you worked hard for it. But instead of focusing what this world has to offer you, you should focus on what you can offer. Mentally strong people don’t feel the world owes them.
Example – Don’t think that you worked hard at your job but still lost your and this was not fair instead find what you can offer with your work to other companies.
They don’t Expect immediate results
Let’s say you joined a gym and after one month of hard training but you didn’t saw any results and so you quit going to the gym. This happens because we want immediate results and we lack patience. And you frustrated because things were taking time.
You expect quick results because you don’t have patience, overestimate your abilities and underestimate the time taken for the process. That’s how to be mentally strong at work.
How to stop expecting immediate results?
Have realistic expectations and deadlines.
Example – Just one week of searching a new job might not land you another job. Have patience.
THINGS TO AVOID TO BECOME A MENTALLY STRONG PERSON
|Things to avoid||How to avoid?|
|Feeling sorry for themselves||This happens because you focus your energy on thinking how big the problem is instead of focusing on what caused it and how you can resolve it.|
|Losing their power to others||Whenever possible take their criticism as feedback it will help you improve your life.|
|Being afraid of change||Accept it Accept the change, set goals regarding the change you want to happen, make an action plan, take small steps.|
|Focus on holding on to things they can’t control||Take three piece of paper; write down what you can’t control, what you can control and what you still have.|
|Try to please others||Your responsibility is to tell your truth to people and it’s their responsibility how they react, not yours.|
|Fear risks||You avoid risks because you don’t understand the fear and you might not have the knowledge of doing something.|
|Dwell on yesterday||Have a set time to think of the past events, this will limit you dwelling. Focus on your future goals.|
|Making same mistakes again||See yourself as your own advisor and give the best advice and action plan.|
|Resent other’s success||Start working on yourself and fight your insecurities. Change you attitude towards yourself and tell yourself that you as good as others.|
|Give up when failing||Understand that this is all part of your journey. Read all the failure stories.|
|Being afraid to spend time alone||Spend some time for yourself and think about your goals and pay 100% attention to yourself every day from a certain time.|
|Feel the world owes them||Instead of focusing what this world has to offer you, you should focus on what you can offer.|
|Expecting immediate results||Have patience. Have realistic expectations and deadlines.|
Being mentally strong might not be easy but it’s definitely not impossible. You just need to develop right habits. These things mentioned above from the book 13 things mentally strong people don’t do by Amy Morin, you can learn by practicing enough. Face your fears, take risks, don’t please others, and work on yourself because that is how to be mentally strong and fearless.
I hope by reading this you were able to understand the habits of mentally strong people. Feel free to comment below to give your suggestions, recommendations and feedback.
Amy Morin, she is a psychotherapist, mental strength trainer, and international bestselling author.
Mentally strong people don’t:
Feeling sorry for themselves
Losing their power to others
Being afraid of change
Focus on holding on to things they can’t control
Try to please others
Dwell on yesterday
Making same mistakes again
Resent other’s success
Give up when failing
Being afraid to spend time alone
Feel the world owes them
Expecting immediate results
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I am currently pursuing MBA in Marketing and Sales specialization (2018-2020) from Amity Business School, Noida.